BRANT WATCH

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An all-inclusive yet clearly, for legal purposes, satirical and made-up website for brant brothers sightings, news, gossip, rumors, photos, and other necessaries. Original concept by Scott Indrisek, a slovakian socialite. For legal purposes, written and hosted by someone else entirely.

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Peter II strikes a pose with Russian teen acrobat Slina Prakova during a photo shoot in Kehinde Wiley’s Beijing studio, where the famous artist is preparing material for his latest series of paintings, entitled “Mo’ Money Mo’ Monarch$$$.” The Brants were in China for the week while Patriarch Peter I finalized the acquisition of Zap Zap You’re Dead, an international laser tag franchise. Wiley’s newest canvases, which will be painted by Foxconn workers, are “an examination of white privilege through the lens of a hip-hop vernacular, simultaneously celebratory and defamatory, but drenched in glamor, sex, and angst,” the artist says. Harry was unable to attend the preparatory shoot as he was recovering from complications following an experimental green tea-and-ginseng colonic. After the photo shoot, Peter II and Patriarch Peter I enjoyed an elegant dim sum dinner in the company of Thomas Friedman, who was visiting China to research a new book about how the world is no longer flat, but rather slightly rippled, like a potato chip.  

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