BRANT WATCH

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An all-inclusive yet clearly, for legal purposes, satirical and made-up website for brant brothers sightings, news, gossip, rumors, photos, and other necessaries. Original concept by Scott Indrisek, a slovakian socialite. For legal purposes, written and hosted by someone else entirely.

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Harry and Peter I with small-batch pickle maven (and erstwhile Entourage fan club captain) Salvatore Squash and his girlfriend Masha, who wears a bleached rhino skin dress from Cynthia Rowley and a self-made necklace composed of “various charms and amulets, and also old house keys, my baby teeth, a rock from this time I went to Machu Picchu, and other significant items,” she explained. The quartet was photographed taking a break from cruising the Barney’s spring sample sale, where Peter I scored the Takeo Kikuchi couture brooch he’s wearing, sewn from the undergarments of Japanese girls who dropped out of high school. “This place: Goldmiiiiine,” swooned Harry, flapping his arms in the manner of an overexcited baby bird. He later showed off his bounty: “A pair of 2010 corduroy strumpets with pumpkin piping; a Narobi leather-accented cane nubbin with ground espresso filigree; pristine Gherkin loafers and a matching pair of knee-high argyle socks with wart-dimple embroidery dramatics; 2013 unreleased velour Capris with silkscreened Chris Wool inner lining that spells out the phrase ‘Fuck Me’ in thirteen languages, some of them dead; a Delfina Delettrez swickgold-and-splatresin necklace depicting a cockroach crawling out of the eye socket of Napoleon’s skull…” After shopping, Peter I and Harry repaired to the new pop-up tapas shop on Elizabeth Street helmed by Belgian countess Gerrie Fahneart, a DJ. 

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